Just let me burn!

Really, I´ve been wanting to. A lot. For a long time. (I´m trying to keep this minimally confusing, so I´ll tell you right now, there´s more than one level to this.) Acutely since about 2 months ago, when the tangles of underbrush and thorns a ways back on the Project´s land started falling by the edge of the sword, (some people call them machetes) and growing stronger with every sunny day, [and maybe even more with the rainy days, when I was tempted to wonder if the invierno (winter/rainy season) had arrived in earnest, undermining my dreams]. And since my early childhood, when I would switch back and forth between lighting and putting out fires of dry grass. But also much longer than that, Looking deeper into my heart and my past, I couldn´t tell you when the craving started. It crept up on my consciousness, first sprouting before I was cognizant enough to put words to what was happening, and growing so gradually (though certainly not uniformly), that I usually had absolutely no clue of what was happening inside me.





(You may be wondering by now whether by ¨trying to keep this minimally confusing¨, I meant that I am trying to minimize the confusion, or am attempting to create confusion, though not too much. You might be right to wonder. . . .)





Alright, now to undo this ¨tangled web¨. Lets start with the middle level of meaning. Fire is a longstanding hobby of mine -since I discovered the power of magnifying glasses (I still have yet to make one actually start a fire - it always just chars the leaves, despite the relentless power of the sun pounding through cloudless Equatorial skies, and baked, 3-months-into dry-season fuel.) There´s nothing exactly like watching the dancing lips of blues, oranges and yellows as they steadily lap up burning coals, begin shyly to lick new wood, and leap uninhibited into the air. Then there´s the feeling of awe and wonder that all this change (whether a big or little fire - changing raw fuel into nearly pure carbon, oxygen into carbon dioxide, etc - but even more so with a big fire, of course) came from such a small start. And the power it holds - for incredible good, controlled; or for immense harm, uncontrolled (being a choleric, I like to be in charge of the fire, directing its path and its growth) It´s like running heavy machinery - the thought of such huge possibilities resting in my hands.



The first (most acute and shallowest) level: since I found out about the plan to burn the layer of cut thornbushes, leaves, and dry branches clogging up the new field at Km. 38, I´ve been looking forward to the hot day. Hot both because we had to wait for a sunny day, when the tangled overgrowth would be dryest and burn most completely, and because of the fire, which we all knew would be impressive, [even for charred-black fire admirerers like me, who´ve been burning little (well, only in comparison to the BIG one) piles of brush just about every sunny day for the last 2 months]. Yes, it was impressive.



And now for the most important level. As you´ve seen, I´ve been spending a lot of quality time working with (and thinking about) fire. I´m sure none of you have missed out on the many spiritual applications of fire - the Holy Spirit in tongues of fire, God as the All-Consuming Fire, and fire as the trials and challenges that refine us, like silver, with God as our Smith (a lá this quarter´s Sabbath School lesson). But the one I´ve thought about the most is (a little) different.



Fire has three basic needs: fuel, air, and heat. Without fuel, there´s nothing to burn. Without air (really, oxygen), the fuel just sits there. Without heat, (and even though fire produces heat once started) fuel and oxygen just sleep together like a Golden Retriever and a fluffy lap cat who´ve grown up together, not like the ravenous Rottweiler and shrieking, fighting alley Tab we know as Fire. Lets make humans Fuel. And God, Air. I´ll save Heat and Fire for later.



When we make a fire, we usually worry about two things, fuel and ignition (heat). Not air. Why? Cuz Air´s always there. Always has been. Always will be. No matter where we go on this earth, unless someone has persistently, with much effort, refused Air entry, pumping Him out of a vacuum bottle. And even then, He´s not all gone - just less noticeable.



Now, we have Air. Now for some Fuel. Obviously, there´s many types of fuel. We all burn a little different. Some light up easy, others not so much (and usually along with that, the same some burn up fast, and the same others burn slow and long). Some burn yellow, others blue, orange, or red. Some even green, pink, or nearly invisible clear. But pretty much anything will burn - just depends on the conditions. And none is really better than the other - you wouldn´t want a bonfire with only newspaper, or want to try to start a bonfire with only 18 inch hardwood logs. It takes all sorts to make a good Fire. (So what is the Fire?)

Pretty much nothing burns without other Fuels burning around it. While a single Spark can light a blaze, most of the time if you take a stick out of the fire, it will eventually go out. And a Coal (a certain type of Fuel) can stay hot for a long time, burying itself in a layer of insulation (but it doesn´t give out much Heat this way.) Only if it´s put with other Fuels does it light up. And the more Burning Fuels that go out and in contact with Unburning Fuels (or Unburning Fuels brought in?), the more likely the new Fuel will catch and light up. Not only that, but new Fuels are indespensible. No matter how good your Burning Fuels are, eventually they burn up. If no New Fuels come in to replace them, the Fire dies. (Ok, for sure you know Fire now.)

And about heat. Really, it´s the heat that catches New Fuels afire. It doesn´t matter how close Fuels are to the Fire if the Heat can´t reach them. Heat. It spreads out everywhere, in all directions, irrespective of what it´s heating. (That wonderful warmth, ardor, invisibly spreading out in infrared Light, the Love of Jesus.)

So, my prayer is, ¨Let me Burn¨. And really, I don´t care if I burn short or long. Let the blaze sweep the earth, catching up and burning all the Fuels.